Guilt in the Money Conversation
Removing guilt in order to move forward
Feelings of guilt around money conversations are more than commonplace. Guilt is often encouraged in one way or another.
These feelings don’t serve you, uplift you, or move you forward. Therefore, they don’t belong to you. To better understand this is to better understand what guilt really is.
Guilt is trying to change something in the present that you did in the past. So what does that mean? It means that you’re focused on the past in the present time.
Guilt is a very destructive emotion. In fact, I often describe it as paralyzing.
To better connect to this idea, we’ll look at a non-money example — morning wake-up time. Let’s say you wanted to wake up a 5am and ended up sleeping in and waking up at 6:30am instead. Feeling guilty, you spent your day focused on that hour and a half that didn’t happen and all of the things that you wanted to do in that timeframe that you didn’t.
Your focus was on something that was in the past and your gaze was directed to what was behind you. The result? More negativity as you replay that guilt repeatedly in your mind.
I talk with you about this today because when this destructive emotion has our focus it can feel like there’s no way out — but there is! Here are three ways you can break free of the accelerating negative cycle of guilt and into a positive cycle that serves you.
Forward Looking
Accepting what was and using that as fuel to direct your gaze forward towards what you want. In our example above, that would mean staying focused on the day ahead of you instead of dwelling on your later wake-up time.
Action Focused
To create the change you want, you must stay focused on what will bring that about. Starting to step into action will do exactly that! So, now that you’re focused on the day ahead, what are you going to do about it? Perhaps that means deciding to be more effective with your time and utilizing the rest of the day to its full potential.
Results Oriented
This means that at the end of the day you can say you succeeded completed X, Y and Z. These don’t necessarily have to be big because every step forward is a step in the right direction.
Do these ideas apply to your finances? Absolutely! Just like with the wake-up time, we simply can’t change what took place in the past. What we can do is focus on creating the financial future you want you to see for yourself one step forward at a time.
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To start building a meaningful connection with your money story, I’d be honored to continue this conversation with you in my book Cleopatra’s Riches